My Desi girl.

The other day we were at the park and I was holding my Des girl and my heart just overflowed at how grateful I was to have this girl in my life.  She is such a special and happy girl.  She is so content and rarely whines or cries, except when she is hungry or ready for a nap.  She loves attention and gets super excited if you turn and look at her and play with her. She loves to smile at you.  She LOVES her brother and loves to play cars and trains and animals with him.  She is just a petite little thing, but the doctor says that she has great growth for her age.  She has been learning to eat solids and so far has eaten carrots, sweet potatoes, bananas, strawberries, mango, and rice, of course.  She is a REALLY good eater and doesn’t make too big of a mess.  She still wakes up one time at night, but I just think it is because she is so petite.  She loves to walk in her walker and jump in {her} jumperoo(the one we borrowed from a dear friend and her jumperoo at Aunt SueSue’s).  She loves to make noises with her spit.  She is rolling around like crazy and gets up on her hands and knees, but no crawling yet,,and I am OK with that.  She sits up unsupported, but she just hasn’t figured out how to let herself down on her stomach slowly, so she usually just plops over onto her belly and usually face plants it into the carpet.  It is pretty funny to watch.  Luckily it doesn’t hurt her too much {or at least she doesn’t cry, so hopefully it doesn’t hurt her}.  I just love her to death.

I don’t know that hers and my relationship has changed much…she was only 6 weeks old when we made the move, but each day, we begin with lots of cooing in the crib, a super happy girl and we end the day with snuggles and loves before she falls fast asleep {usually}.  I have been blessed with the cutest, happiest, most content baby I know, and I am so grateful for her!

Here are some photo updates:

She has won my heart, just like her daddy and brother!  I AM THE LUCKIEST!!!

-M.

Then.

Moving away from family and friends, from comforts and certainty has changed the relationships that are dearest to my heart.  That being said, I will post a few times in the next couple of days explaining, a little bit, the changes that this move has brought to the three most important relationships in my life.

To begin, my relationship with my handsome husband.  The lyrics of a newly found song by Brad Paisley sums up a lot of what we feel for each other, after 6 months of living away from our family.  Here you go:

“Then”

I remember trying not to stare

The night that I first met you
You had me mezmorized
And three weeks later
In the front porch light
Taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight
I hadn’t told you yet
I thought I loved you thenNow you’re my whole life
Now you’re my whole world
I just can’t believe
The way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea
Stronger than its ever been
We’ve come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

I remember taking you back
To right where I first met you
You were so suprised
There were people around
But I didn’t care
I got down on one knee right there
And once again
I thought I loved you then

Now you’re my whole life
Now you’re my whole world
I just can’t believe
The way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea
Stronger than its ever been
We’ve come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

I can just see you
With a baby on the way
I can just see you
When your hair is turning grey
What I can’t see
Is how I’m ever gonna love you more
But I’ve said that before

Now you’re my whole life
Now you’re my whole world
I just can’t believe
The way I feel about you girl
We’ll look back someday
At this moment that we’re in
And I’ll look at you and say
And I thought I loved you then

And I thought I loved you then

It is amazing how much my love and respect have grown in the past 6 months.  Just the other day, Greg and I were chatting about our “love languages”.  The way that I feel loved is through quality time.  Well, when you have a husband that is gone for 8 days straight, no phone, no text, no email, no contact with them, having “quality time” with one another during that time seemed nearly impossible.  Greg had been good about writing me while he was gone, but probably the middle of July, we started writing each other at the end of every day and then after he got off of the trail on Wednesdays, we would share our “journals” of our week, with our deepest, darkest secrets. {Haha!}  But really, it was really nice to be able to hear how his week went, instead of just asking at the end of a week and us both saying, “It was good.”  Period.

Through these letters, we have been able to share “quality time” in a sense and I truly feel like I have grown closer to him because of those letters.  I shared with him my challenges of {single} parenting, my triumphs, little things that B and D do on a daily basis, or their firsts…things that if I wouldn’t have documented, I probably would have forgotten about.

I am truly grateful for this time we have been able to learn and grow and to stretch ourselves.  I can’t say it has been the easiest 6 months of my life, but because of the things I have learned about myself, the relationship that has been strengthened with my husband and beautiful children, and the relationship I have built with my Heavenly Father and Savior, I can honestly say it has been the most rewarding.  We have truly been blessed!

I LOVE Gregory John Ostler more NOW than I did THEN and I feel eternally grateful for that!  He is the best husband for me and the cutest daddy EVER!  I am glad I get him FOREVER!

-M.

Colors.

I don’t know what it is about today, but as I was driving everywhere today, I kept looking around and seeing all of the beautiful fall colors and feeling SO BLESSED to be where I am.  I would turn corners and say to myself, out loud, “Look how beautiful it is?”  I don’t know if it the contrast of an overcast, gray sky with the beautifully vibrant leaves, or what, but take a look for yourself!  

-M.

 

GROWING.

This quote is what I have been feeling today. God is growing us right now. I am grateful that I know that everything happens for a reason. Grateful for friends and family to support is. God is good!
-M.

UTAH: Part 3.

We got to Salt Lake on Sunday afternoon and went to church and played games.  And then the next couple days were filled nothing new, but certainly some of our favorites.  AKA.

Zoo:

Barbacoa, Rubios, Nielson’s, a visit to Uncle Paul’s.

Walks:

Feeding the ducks:

We had such a wonderful time in Utah and it seems like the trip was much too short.  Which it was.  But, we are definitely grateful that we enjoy it out here in NC.  We have been blessed with MUCH to learn and experiences that we will not soon forget.

-M.

My motto.

Really quickly, I wanted to share my motto for the past 4.5 months.  Simple as this.

-M.

UTAH: Part 2.

OK, back to Utah.  Most of what we did in Utah was PLAY and RELAX with lots of family and cousins around.  We loved it.

We bathed in Gram’s BIG tub:

We rode Nibley(which is something we have been wanting to do for MONTHS):

I think Bekkett we all loved every second with the horses.  It was so much fun to see Bekkett get to ride Nibley.  He asked Gram and Gramp, or daddy, to go see the horses about 20x a day{or more}.  And everyone loved it.  Next time you see Bekkett, ask him what a horsey says…I dare you to not laugh.  It is the stinkin cutest thing you have ever heard.

We rode in the wagon… a LOT:

The cousins just could NOT get enough of Bekkett and Desi.  Nikayla kept telling Bekkett to sit in the wagon, and even though Bekkett is about 4 inches taller than her and probably 10 pounds heavier, and could beat her up, he just did what she said and they had a blast!

We made silly pumpkins:

We snuggled a lot{not enough pictures to show all of our snuggles}:

And became a big girl…

We got our hair done{Bekkett hated it just as much this time as he did every time before —>SUPER MELT DOWN…sorry Aunt Jess!}:

Relaxed and LOVED being HOME:

I can’t believe that I only got ONE picture of Ainsley’s blessing day…and not even a single one of Ainsley! 😦  But, here it is:

And then we had to say “see you later” to my family, once again.  It breaks my heart every time.  I see how much fun the kids have when they are together.  This time, more than ever, Bekkett got a long with all of the older kids and they all played so well together.  We haven’t found THE ONES for Bekkett to play with out here yet.  All of the friends in the ward are either older and expect him to act his size {like a 4 year old}, or they are too young and he tramples them over.  I guess I just have to count my blessings and be grateful for the times that Bekkett DOES get to play with cousins.  Those times are truly priceless and I will hold them forever in my heart.

We were in SL and I got this text from Jessica: “Deag was so cute when he was saying the prayer last night.  He cried so hard when he prayed for you that he asked if I could finish. 😦 This morning, he wanted to know every detail of the flight…if you were having breakfast on the plane, if we could text you while you were flying…I told him you didn’t fly out until tomorrow and he looked at me like, ‘Why the heck aren’t we still playing then?’ ”  I am so grateful for my relationships with my nieces and nephews, with my brother and sisters, and my parents!  It was truly a VERY special {and much need, might I add} trip home!

Next post, Utah: Part 3 SLC.

-M.

UTAH: Part 1.

Well, after 4.5 months away from Utah, it was time to go visit.  In August, my mom called to see if we could come out for Ainsley’s blessing.  At that time it was scheduled for over Labor Day.  We went to work looking for flights and then the blessing got changed about 4 times, so it is a good thing that we didn’t book tickets as soon as we had the great idea.  Once the date was set, we booked tickets and anticipated our SURPRISE visit to Utah.  We didn’t want ANYONE but my parents to know {A: since we would need someone to pick us up at the airport, and B: because it was their idea}.

As the week approached, we realized there was just no way to keep it from Brent and Teresa and ended up telling them about a week and a half before we were coming out.  And, my mom told Breton and Jaime that we were coming because they had some conflicting activities.  But, NONE of the nieces and nephews knew, and neither of my sisters knew.  It was PERFECT!

We left our house at 4 AM and made the journey on the “bik pyane”.  Bekkett was in plane HEAVEN.  For weeks before the trip, we looked at the “book pyane” that Grandma gave Bekkett for Christmas, and Greg would remind B that we are going to “Eewutah” on the “bik pyane” to see Grammy and PopPop, Gram and Gramp….and all of the family.   And here are some of the best of the airplane pictures.

It doesn’t matter how early we left, we got to the airport at about 5:45 and he was WIDE AWAKE until about 3 PM MST!  If you know Bekkett, he NEVER slows down!  Until I MAKE him slow down.  He was totally enthralled with the airport and the planes, and the trucks that take the luggage to the airplane, etc.  And no, he didn’t sleep on the plane.  AT ALL.  But all in all, he was so good, so I can’t complain too much.

Teresa picked us up from the airport and drove us up to Tremonton where we TOTALLY and COMPLETELY surprised both Shandi AND Jessica.  They both just squealed and started crying.  It brings tears to my eyes, even now.  It’s a good thing I like it out here…I just miss my family so much.  Wish we could snap our fingers and be closer.  It all would be so much easier, right?  Here are some cute pictures of the reunion.

This picture makes my heart SO happy!  After we moved out here, Bekkett never talked about Nikayla(I think mostly because her name is hard to say for a 2 year old), and then when Shandi and Alia came out and spent 10 days here, he got used to saying Alia’s name and he ALWAYS would ask for Alia.  When Shandi sent me this picture, it just made me want to cry because I knew that he really didn’t forget Nikayla and this picture just shows it!  I LOVE IT!

We got to meet Ainsley for the first time and she is just a doll!  I love her chunky cheeks and her cute little cry.  I really think her and Des cry a lot alike.  Every second I was able to snuggle that princess, I did.  I just loved smelling her cheeks and taking her “newborn” purity in.  {I know she really isn’t a newborn anymore, but the closest I have smelt in a long time…in case you haven’t noticed, I am obsessed with the smell of newborns.}

I came out of the room one morning to this.  Bekkett could have played on the rug for HOURS with those marbles…and the puppy…and Gram and Gramp.  He is obsessed and LOVES them all so much.

I have MUCH more I want to share, but not enough time to do it all now.  Stay tuned for part 2…and part 3…and MAYBE part 4. 😉

-M.

Opposition.

Was conference not amazing?  I feel like every talk was directed to me in some way as an answer to my prayers.  I LOVE that feeling, but on the other hand, it is hard for me, too.  I know that with the knowledge that I received through those conference talks, I also have a specific obligation to be better and do more.  Not that that is necessarily a bad thing, but just because I watched conference, it’s not like all of a sudden my personality and self has acquired all of these attributes that I wish I was able to attain through osmosis.  But, in my mind, I think I SHOULD be better and SHOULD be doing more.  

I know that these attributes are attained line upon line, precept upon precept, so I should be more patient with myself.  As I talked with my friend Cheryl today, I was grateful to know that us mommy’s are all going through the same types of experiences and that we aren’t expected to be perfect, but we are expected to TRY our hardest every day.  

In case y’all didn’t know, my kids are my everything.  But, what I don’t understand is, how is it so hard to treat them as my everything every day?  As I lay down to bed the other night, tears streamed down my face as I thought of Bekkett’s future.  I don’t know why my tears were specifically for Bekkett, but my heart ached as I thought of the hardships that he would likely endure.  Like the first time he comes home from school and tells me that kids are bullying him, or the times I see other kids be mean to him on the playground or even at friends houses.  Like the times that he makes mistakes and needs help correcting those mistakes.  It was like I was going through it in my mind and experiencing how that is going to feel.  My heart broke for him.  As I went into his room, I gave him a love and tucked him back under his covers.  My heart was overflowing to have a big, healthy boy laying in bed and sleeping soundly.  I was happy.  

I know there are times in mommy hood that are hard.  I guess I didn’t realize before I had kids how often it would be hard.  I guess that is why the title to this blog post is opposition because we all know that there is meant to be opposition in all things.  I would not know good without the bad, easy without the hard, happy without the sad.  Which is why I have to be grateful for the hard times.  

Life/Heavenly Father has a funny way of trying to teach me.  I just hope I am learning what He is trying to teach me.  

-M.

 

Washington D.C.

It was an amazing opportunity to go up to Virginia and visit one of my best friends Becca and her beautiful family.  I will have lots of pictures in this post, because pictures are more fun, anyways. 😉

The first couple of days, we mostly spent time at Becca and Levi’s beautiful home.  The kids loved playing together and I loved watching them get to know each other.  

They just recently got this cute wagon so that Spencer and Lauryn wouldn’t bother each other.  One night we went to a park and had a pizza picnic and then we played around in the wagon.  Bekkett had fun riding with the kids, and he also liked pulling the kids too.  He ran around the soccer field 4 times and was LOVING it.  I never knew how much he loved running, but we went to the park the other day and he ran straight for probably a quarter mile.  I was so impressed!  
Lauryn LOVED playing with Desi Rae.  She will definitely be a great big sister some day.  

We REALLY wanted to go to the DC temple and we tried to make plans so many times and then we finally just had to go on Saturday morning before they closed for the Relief Society broadcast.  Becca ended up having to watch all 4 kiddos(under 3), but she said that it wasn’t too hard, because at least one of them were napping for part or all of the time.  Then, she loaded them up and picked up Levi from work and met us at CAFE RIO!  

Going to the temple was AMAZING!  It has been MONTHS since Greg and I have been to a session together, so it was so nice to be in a session together, and the DC temple was absolutely incredible!    Everything about it was awe-inspiring and we enjoyed our time together there.  THEN…CAFE RIO!  It has been FAR too long since Cafe Rio and we were thrilled to go and get some deliciousness that reminded us of home.  Greg stuffed himself with a burrito and I got a tostada.  YUMMO!  I have surely missed that food!

Monday(the day before the government shutdown{THANKFULLY}), we went into the city to see a {SMALL FEW} of the amazing sites that DC has to offer.  We stopped at “The Mall”, as everyone calls it, and we were able to see The Washington monument, the Vietnam Veterans wall, the White House, the World War II memorial, the reflecting pool, and the Lincoln Memorial all in the first little walk.  Then, we went and got in our cars(because some of the kiddos fell asleep, a.k.a. Bekkett) and drove past the Capital, and found a parking spot for lunch and to go past the White House.  

There was extra social service around the whole White House and then when we left and went to Arlington Cemetery, we saw MarineOne taking off somewhere.  I am sure that this was all due to everything that happened the next day.  (Sorry the pictures aren’t very organized…too lazy! 😉


So, probably my favorite part about what we saw was Arlington Cemetery.  You can’t believe (until you see) how many graves there are.  It is about a 15 minute walk up to The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and we watched the changing of the guards.  It was pretty amazing.  And then, as we drove home, we wanted to know more about it and found an incredible article of facts HERE.  This was REALLY interesting to both Greg and I, so am sure that not only dad would enjoy reading these facts about the guards there.  We have pretty incredible people serving our nation, even in the hardest of times, and I am truly grateful for them!  

So, that is our trip in a nutshell.  Hope you enjoy the pictures.  It was priceless and I CAN’T WAIT to go back, because there is SO much that we have yet to see!

-M.