Opposition.

Standard

Was conference not amazing?  I feel like every talk was directed to me in some way as an answer to my prayers.  I LOVE that feeling, but on the other hand, it is hard for me, too.  I know that with the knowledge that I received through those conference talks, I also have a specific obligation to be better and do more.  Not that that is necessarily a bad thing, but just because I watched conference, it’s not like all of a sudden my personality and self has acquired all of these attributes that I wish I was able to attain through osmosis.  But, in my mind, I think I SHOULD be better and SHOULD be doing more.  

I know that these attributes are attained line upon line, precept upon precept, so I should be more patient with myself.  As I talked with my friend Cheryl today, I was grateful to know that us mommy’s are all going through the same types of experiences and that we aren’t expected to be perfect, but we are expected to TRY our hardest every day.  

In case y’all didn’t know, my kids are my everything.  But, what I don’t understand is, how is it so hard to treat them as my everything every day?  As I lay down to bed the other night, tears streamed down my face as I thought of Bekkett’s future.  I don’t know why my tears were specifically for Bekkett, but my heart ached as I thought of the hardships that he would likely endure.  Like the first time he comes home from school and tells me that kids are bullying him, or the times I see other kids be mean to him on the playground or even at friends houses.  Like the times that he makes mistakes and needs help correcting those mistakes.  It was like I was going through it in my mind and experiencing how that is going to feel.  My heart broke for him.  As I went into his room, I gave him a love and tucked him back under his covers.  My heart was overflowing to have a big, healthy boy laying in bed and sleeping soundly.  I was happy.  

I know there are times in mommy hood that are hard.  I guess I didn’t realize before I had kids how often it would be hard.  I guess that is why the title to this blog post is opposition because we all know that there is meant to be opposition in all things.  I would not know good without the bad, easy without the hard, happy without the sad.  Which is why I have to be grateful for the hard times.  

Life/Heavenly Father has a funny way of trying to teach me.  I just hope I am learning what He is trying to teach me.  

-M.

 

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