My Cup Runneth Over.

Standard

A couple of weeks ago, I was getting ready for the day and I had a lot on my mind.  I had been thinking about conference, about Elder Uchtdorf’s talk about Doubting our doubts before Doubting our Faith.  I was thinking of having shared the gospel with people here and at home.  I was thinking about the First Vision of Joseph Smith, of his seeing Angel Moroni, Elijah, and many other resurrected beings.  I thought of logic and of how so many people in this world let their brain overcome what their heart can tell them is true.  My thought process was pretty much, “Well, no duh, people doubt these things.  Of course they do.  Logically, it doesn’t make sense.”  

As I was having this thought process, the song Bethlehem Skies by Dara Maclean came on Pandora.  Go turn it on and listen to it while you continue reading.

My next thought process was this, “There are millions and probably billions of people throughout the world who actually believe in Christ.  These people who believe in Christ believe that He was born of a virgin, that after He was born, He could perform many miracles in His day.  They believe that He was able to die on the cross for the sins of the world.  Most people who believe in Christ believe in Him because of the Bible.  So, they also believe the miracles that are recorded in the Old and New Testament.  They believe that Jonah was swallowed by a whale and spewed back onto shore.  They believe that Noah built an ark to escape the flood.  They believe that Moses parted a sea…yes, indeed, parted a SEA in order to save the children of Israel from the Egyptians.  They believe all of these miracles in the Old and New Testament.  Why not today?  With God being an unchanging God, why would He leave us, who are still His sons and daughters, in darkness.  Why would He cease to reveal His will to Prophets and Apostles today, leaving us to wander aimlessly through life.”

As I listened to that song, peace resonated in my soul.  My testimony of Christ burned ever brighter and I felt so lucky to be in that moment, to feel of the Spirit testifying to my soul that ALL of my thoughts were true.  Logically, NONE of it makes sense.  How can a baby be born of a virgin?  How can one man take upon Himself the sins of ALL mankind?  How could it be possible that the Prophets in the Old and New Testaments were able to perform miracles?  Could Joseph Smith REALLY see God the Father and His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ?  “How can these be true?”, asks logic?  For me, I don’t know HOW, but all I know is that my SOUL knows that it is true and that is what I rely on when logic tries to prove it wrong.  

All during church today, my eyes were “leaking”{term stolen from The Grinch, himself}.  I couldn’t stop crying.  My heart is so full of gratitude for this past year.  It has been one of the hardest years of my life.  Adjusting to a new home, struggling financially, praying that we can pay rent and put food on the table, trying to be a good {single} mom every other week, adjusting to a newborn with family so far away, actually BEING so far away from family, trying to understand a two{+} year old and TRYING to be PATIENT with him…

Through this all, I believe that I am a much better person for being here, for going through these struggles.  I am grateful for my testimony that has grown stronger than ever of a LOVING Father in Heaven who is keenly aware of my circumstances, who is also aware of WHO I AM and my capabilities, who understands how far He can stretch me, and who knows that I will turn to Him when I am uncomfortable.  

My cup runneth over, and I believe that is why “I am leaking.”  I am forever grateful!

-M.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s