I PROMISE I am going to be better at posting! I have just had some really awesome realizations that I wanted to post about.
As I have been trying to figure this “single-mom-every-other-week” thing out, I have often wondered why I signed up for this. I won’t lie, IT IS HARD! And the last time Greg was out on the trail, I had a heart-to-heart with my mom. It was after the Sunday that I took the kids to church by myself and everything went really well. I had been reflecting on how blessed I was and how grateful I was for my kids.
As I was talking to my mom, my heart was filled to over flowing. You know how girls are, we have to talk things through sometimes to realize and make sense of things sometimes. During the conversation, there was a point where I couldn’t even talk because I was crying so hard because I felt so blessed. Here is why…
Before Desi was born, Bekkett and I were best buds. He was my little side kick and I really feel like we got so close when Greg came out to North Carolina in December, and it took a few months to get him over the “clingy-ness” to me. When I was pregnant with Des, I already felt a really special connection to her through some amazing experiences that I was blessed to have. My biggest fear was that as soon as Desi came, my relationship with Bekkett would not be so strong.
Well, my worst fear became reality. As my little almost 2-year-old buddies life was turned upside down. Poor little man was blind-sided…didn’t even know what was coming for him! So, because of his almost 2-year-old understanding of the situation, there were some days that I felt like he hated me. We were NOT close and he pushed all of my buttons. He loved his sister, but he loved to get my attention, in any way possible, even more. I am sure many of you have been through this as well.
I always knew that things would get better with time, but would they ever be the same? I don’t know how it would have turned out if we stayed in Logan, the way we were, but I know how things are going now, here in NC.
Although it SUCKS having Greg gone for a week at a time, it has required that Bekkett and I rely on one another. It most definitely has strengthened our relationship and I feel like I have my buddy back. Obviously it isn’t perfect, and we still have rough patches some days, but I truly feel blessed!
It is a choice I make every day that Greg is gone. Some days go better than others, but each day I keep trying! And I believe that is what matters most!