Special moment.


The first time I heard this song, I sat weeping because it explained exactly the feelings I had before I had Bekkett and how I felt when I first heard his cry and how I distinctly remember my heart changing COMPLETELY that night, June 20, 2011 at 8:27 PM.  There were never words to explain that change in my heart until I heard this song.  Take a read.  Or have a listen.  Try not to cry. 😉


Christina Perri “A Thousand Years”

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I’m afraid To fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt

Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you Darlin’ don’t be afraid I have loved you for a Thousand years I’ll love you for a Thousand more

Time stands still

beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything

Take away

What’s standing in front of me

Every breath,

Every hour has come to this

One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you Darlin’ don’t be afraid I have loved you for a Thousand years I’ll love you for a Thousand more

And all along I believed

I would find you

Time has brought

Your heart to me

I have loved you for a

Thousand years

I’ll love you for a Thousand more

Today I had decided to write about the Solar Eclipse and just before I started writing, I was looking through photos to document my Photo A Day.  I had been thinking of what photo I would use for the “Special Moment” since I checked what the theme would be today and I knew I would use one of when Bekkett was barely born.  I cried as I looked at the photos I would use because I can’t believe it has already been 11 months.  

I started writing about the solar eclipse, at a loss for words.  Then this song came on, I started crying again and I knew I would share my special moment.  These are the words I wrote just a few weeks after he was born.  

 “My world changed completely on Monday, June 20, 2011. Our beautiful son, Bekkett Paul Ostler, came into this world at 8:27 PM weighing 9 lbs. 10 oz. and 21.5 in. long. This is our story.

 Around 6 am, I started feeling cramping and I went to the bathroom at 6 and 7, still feeling that cramping feeling. Around 8 o clock, I started feeling contractions about 7-10 minutes apart. Around 8:25 Greg got up to go to the bathroom and I told him I had been having contractions. We decided to call the doctors office and they sent us up to labor and delivery. We got our bags packed and headed on over to the hospital.

 We checked into the hospital and hooked me up to monitors to monitor babyʼs heart and my contractions. The contractions showed true that they were only 7-10 minutes apart, but they were good strong contractions. They monitored them for an hour and then the nurse said that they might send me home to wait until the contractions were closer together, but that she would call Dr. Olsen and see what he had to say. Greg and I were way sad and were very disappointed to hear this. But, we were ready to hear whatever Dr. Olsen had to say. The nurse came back and said that Dr. Olsen said that since we were already having consistent contractions and it was my due date, that we should just get me on some Pitosin and get this baby here.

 So, they got me started on the pit and asked me when I wanted my epidural. At the beginning, I thought I would wait a while, but once the pitosin hit, I decided I wanted it asap. The anesthesiologist was getting ready to leave for lunch so I decided that if I was going to get it anyways, I might as well not wait…less pain! 🙂 So, I got the epidural and that was way weird, but not as bad as expected. From then on, it was smooth sailing and I was so grateful for Greg who was there through it all. He went and got me nail polish and stuff so I could do my nails at some point that day. We waited for the progression and around 6 pm I was ready to rest and r______, which was when I painted my nails.

 In the beginning, we didnʼt want anyone to know that we were in the hospital, but seeing as how it was my due date, I should have known that our parents would be wanting to know if anything was happening. Of course they did and so both sets of parents knew that we were in the hospital. Mom and dad were planning on going camping and fishing, but I told them that they should probably stay within cell phone service. They were heading into town and I thought that it would be good to get a blessing from G and dad, but they began me pushing and from then on, we didnʼt have time.

 I started pushing around 7:10 and pushed until about 8 when the nurse called Dr. Olsen in to come and deliver the baby. It was crazy because it seemed to go by so quickly. Greg was helping the whole time and just going through this whole experience with him was so incredible and an experience that I hope not to forget any time soon. That is why I am writing this.

 It came the point where Dr. Olsen said that the next push, the baby should come out. It was the weirdest feeling in the world and as he came out, I saw this blue, slimy bundle of joy come out and the first time I heard his cry, my heart melted. I remember leaning back on the table and I couldnʼt help but cry at this miracle that had entered into the world and who had already changed my life forever.

 They took Bekkett to clean him up because he had pooped during delivery, but afterwards, they wrapped him up and Greg brought him over to me. As I held him in my arms, my heart grew 10 times and I knew I would never be the same. I looked at Greg and as we held hands, I felt so much joy in this miracle that we had created together. For he truly was a miracle. His BIG hands and feet, his skinny little legs, his beautiful face, his soft hair, his cute little ears, and beautiful smile, his deep cry…what a beautiful baby boy.

 The feeling in the room was absolutely incredible. He has a strong and a righteous spirit.

As I look into his eyes, I see a Priesthood giant! He has been prepared to do marvelous things! He was born into a family that had been sealed for forever…so no matter what happens, he is ours forever. I canʼt imagine life without our Baby Bekkett, and I pray that our Father will keep him safe and protected. I donʼt know what we did without that beautiful boy. It seems like he has always been part of us. And I know that he has…he has just been waiting for me to be ready for him to come. Greg has been ready since day 1, but it took me a while. I am grateful for Greg and that he helped me prepare for this angel in our home. What a miracle and a blessing!”


Day 21: Special moment.  My heart changed completely when I heard his cry for the first time…and he has been stealing my heart every day, ever since.  




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