Mother’s Day is coming up and I read an incredible article yesterday about being “The Perfect Mom”. I was so impressed by the insights this girl gave about how hard we are on ourselves, being mothers and all. I thought we all could take time to read this(although it is a little lengthy) and remember that as long as we are trying our best, improving in one area each day, and doing all that we can do, no one asks us to do more than that.
Here is the link and I hope that you appreciate the wisdom in her words, as I did.
A few highlights that I enjoyed.
-Harriet Braiker said, “Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.”
-“I force myself to count my blessings, to see the beauty and the bounty that exists in my every day life if I will just take the time to notice.”
-I remember President Hinckley using the next quote in one of his books, I can’t remember which one, but reading this quote again made me remember and miss him a bit. Jenkins Lloyd Jones, “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.
“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …
“Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.
“The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
-“M. Russell Ballard said, “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.”
As mothers, we’re not in the same boat, just the same ocean. Comparing each other’s boats and constantly keeping track of who is ahead does nothing to get us where we are trying to go; it only distracts us from the care of our precious cargo.” How important is it for us to accept our way of mothering, as well as not judging others for the way they have chosen to mother? I could be better at this! 🙂
-Remember that mothering is not about you. This reminds me of a VERY tender time in my life. It was just after Bekkett was born…he was probably 5 or so days old. I was exhausted, my boobs hurt, and I didn’t know if I was truly living up to the mother I needed to be for him. He started crying and I was dreading the pain that came from nursing. I went into his room and fed him and came out bawling. I am so lucky to have a husband who knows me, who loves me, and who knew what I needed to hear at that moment. I went back in to Bekkett’s room and was snuggling him and crying and I get a message from Greg that said, “You don’t seem very happy to be a mommy.” Ouch! It stings a little, right? I have had some say to me, “He actually SAID that to you!?”, in SHOCK! I stand up and defend him, because at that very moment, in my head, I heard the words, “This is not about you.” This whole mothering experience is NOT about me.
At that moment, it all clicked and my outlook on mothering Bekkett completely changed. My boobs hurt, because they needed to hurt so that Bekkett could be fed. I was exhausted, because Bekkett needed me to feed him. I was chubbier because I got to carry that precious baby boy inside of me for 9+ months, and what an incredible opportunity that was…I even miss it A LOT, some days. I chopped my hair off because it made me feel cuter, because I actually took time to do my hair in the midst of my mothering. I quit my job and sacrificed many friendships that came with that job, because I was/am blessed to stay home with him to see his developing changes and watch him grow every moment of the day.
I am very grateful that at this point of my mothering, although it has only been 10 months and 4 days and although I am not perfect, that I am PROUD to be a mom and that I have LOVED those last 10 months and 4 days. Sure, some days are harder than others, but I am grateful that I have Bekkett Paul Ostler to teach me every day.
Let us all be more gentle with ourselves and find JOY in this journey as a mother. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you lovely mothers that have shown me the mommy I want to be.